Self Worth to Self Acceptance
I am an authentic person, no fake aura around or inside for that matter and I take pride in my honesty on this aspect. I guess it is not very difficult to speak all this as we human beings are expressive enough to give the wow moment to people with whom we interact and expect that we get accepted in the group as a dignitary. But I still doubt the importance of self-acceptance that we hold in our lives. Is it that we are sweating so hard that others accept us? Are we totally ignorant about the wide terminology named as “self-acceptance”? For a moment let’s make our brain cells work. Why do we accept ourselves? Well, I accept myself because I am existing in this beautiful world and have the capabilities to create a conducive environment for myself! Now, let’s consider other very thoughtful possible responses. “I accept myself because others accept me in the society”. I accept myself because I have created my worth basis my achievements and judgment of others.
David Burns, in his wonderful book, Feeling Good, wrote that men are even more vulnerable than women to feelings of worthlessness. He emphasized that men have been programmed since childhood to base their worth on their accomplishments. They must deal with unrealistic expectations assigned to them by the society in which they live. Winners are enshrined: all others are ‘losers,’ and are forgotten. It has seeped in our brains that what we do is important. What we are is not. Well, that’s so very harmful for a peaceful soul as it discourages us to the core.
Let’s look at it this way…
If I fully surrender my self-acceptance, worth and existence to my achievements I am bound to hit the floor head on when it proves otherwise. Because it is the nature of tasks, activities not to always give us a winning edge & we might have to welcome the failures too. I believe that even this face of our efforts needs to be equally respected and worked upon.
David Burns wrote, ‘Consider the fact that most human beings are not great achievers, yet most people [survive, and] are happy and well respected.’
It is up to us to allow someone to become self-appointed judge for us. I have learnt to take complete charge of my life and hence I have accepted myself fully. I am responsible for the roller coaster ride if put this way. Nobody is entitled to distort, twist, damage, hurt, my self-worth. As I see it through my lens, Self-acceptance is based on self-worth which is a philosophical idea and not a benchmark in the number system. Self-worth is drawn from self-judgment and not other’s judgment. Self-worth is how you place yourself in your eyes and not how others see it. You can neither increase nor diminish your worth. Among humans, you are not just special-you are unique!
My worth is intrinsic to me as a human being, distinguished from all other forms of life!